I want you to know I am done with IT. IT's not gonna get the best of me anymore. Going to put IT behind me for good this time. Don't like IT very much anymore. Really tired of IT now.
What is "IT" you ask? IT is my life in the 300 pound range! I am DONE with IT!
I've never been small, hell I was almost 11 pounds as a newborn! 215 pounds as a 7th grader, graduated at 285pounds, hit the 300's at Christmas time my Freshman year at Wayne State (Fall of 1985) and haven't looked back since.
In my 20s' it wasn't a burden, as a matter of fact I felt pretty bullet proof most of that decade, being big meant you were healthy right, I mean isn't that how little old ladies judge babies? "Oh, he's so big and strong", or "Whats wrong with her, she's so tiny?" if you get my drift...
In my 30's I came to realize that I looked around and didn't see may 70 year old 350 pound grandma's and grandpa's! I mean its true, being that big WILL lead you to an early death and that wasn't something I was really looking forward to. Did I do anything about it? I tried but obviously not hard enough. I was determined to put "IT" in the rear view mirror by the time I was 40, damn near made it. Checked in on my 40th birthday at 309 pound, feeling strong and healthier, I was going to make it for sure that time I mean after all that was over 100 pounds down from my all time high of 418 lbs. I want to be healthy for my wonderful wife and daughter, I mean what could stop me now.... UGH..
Now I find myself closing in on 45 and sooner than I realize 50 will be here. NOT complaining about getting older and there's nothing wrong with getting older BUT the older you get the harder it is to deal with being BIG. Joints hurt, back pain, sagging where things shouldn't be sagging, you get my picture. Now, I've been pretty lucky so far. I am taking a bit of blood pressure medicine BUT outside of that my blood sugars are great, cholesterol is surprisingly good and everything else seems to be fine outside a few aches and pains. With that being said those things will no doubt begin catching up to me sooner than later.
Yesterday I checked in at 346 pounds, down 31 pounds since the 3rd of January, great strides right. This makes about the 10th time I've kicked of the year with a resolution to lose weight and get healthy. Sometimes 30 pounds off, a couple of times 75 pounds off, and once over 100pounds. I figure I've lost close to 500 pounds over those times but I am tired of losing the SAME pounds over and over again.
With that being said, this time it feels different. I want to put "IT" behind me and never, never look back. I feel that I've finally decided that I am doing this for ME and IF I can be an inspiration to others then great.
I think I finally realize that I DESERVE it as well.
This time it's for REAL...